I know we’re not exactly big time music critics over here, but I think it’s safe to say that this news is so catastrophically bad that if I wasn’t sure we were all about to die already, then this is the final sign I needed. You guys, Billboard has declared a “band of the decade” based on record sales and one of the bands of our last decade? You guys, it’s fucking Nickelback. Really good job. I’m looking at you. I know that if you don’t own a Nickelback album, then your mom or your significant other or your kid does and therefore, I blame you. Personally, I have exceptional taste and so do my loved ones, so I know I’m not to blame. I’m guessing it’s probably you.
From The National Post:
Nickelback was the highest-ranking band of the decade, only finishing behind solo artists Eminem, 50 Cent, Alicia Keys, Beyonce, Nelly and Usher, for overall impact and importance.
Despite a distinct lack of critical acclaim, the rock band formed in Hanna, Alta., has sold more than 30 million albums worldwide. In the last decade, it released The State (2001), Silver Side Up (2001), The Long Road (2003), All the Right Reasons (2005) and Dark Horse (2008), which has garnered them a 2010 Grammy nomination for best hard-rock performance for the track Burn It To The Ground.
Yeah, guys. “Burn It To The Ground”. That sounds like a song worth compromising our reputation as people who lived in the first decade of the new millennium for. “Burn It To The Ground”. That’s so hardcore and emotional. I can see how so many of you could relate to a song like that.
Listen to me: This is a lesson. This entire decade has been a lesson in what happens when you fucking suck. We’re all broke, most of us are losing our homes in some capacity and our entertainment is at a dismally low low. We need to do better in 2010. Promise me that we’re all going to try.
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